I Need You
by LumosZel
Summary: Destiel High School AU - rather boring in the beginning, tragic in the middle, happy in the end. Contains character death, suicidal thoughts, and boy kissing. This is my first fanfic, so give me a chance. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue:**

_-Deans POV-_

Shelberne High School is most definitely not the most beautiful place in the world. In my mind, it's hot, smelly, dusty, and full of "popular" rich kids (called the 'pops') who don't care about a 9th grader transfer from Kansas. Boy the next 4 years should be fun...

**Chapter 1:**

The day I met him was at the end of my first week at Shelberne. As I turned the corner to go to my last class of the day, I saw a group of the pops backed up against a dark corner at the end of the hallway. I recognized a couple of them. Michael and Lucifer were the heads of the pops. Everyone in the high school knew them. The only others I recognized were Ruby and Lilith, sophomores who basically controlled the girl population of the school. I hid behind the wall and watched them, suspicious as to what they were doing. They all whispered amongst each other and then Michael hand Lucifer a flask and a small bag of what looked like… drugs? Shit I should get out of here.

"Well well what have we here?"

Fuck. It's Crowley, the sophomore who is Lucifer's second in command.

I remember turning around and wanting to say something snarky at him, but then he punched my jaw. The whole gang then took turns kicking and punching me until I thought my nose was broken and I was keeling over in pain. Michael had just given me a nice kick to the groin when I heard someone yell.

"Hey! Leave him alone!" I looked up and saw a little nerdy-looking kid with glasses. Well he won't last long. Michael turned around and slowly walked up to the little guy, who was shaking as he said "I'll tell our father if you don't leave him alone." Michael laughed and said "And what would he do about it, little brother?" before motioning for the pops to step away from me and follow him to god knows where to do god knows what. The little guy waited till they were gone and then hurried over to me.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Do I fucking look ok?"

"Well… no... let's get you to the nurse."

As he helped me up, I got a look at him up close for the first time. He wore a long trenchcoat and had really ruffled pitch black hair, and holy crap the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen. I kept staring at them until I was aware that he was talking to me.

"I'm Castiel by the way. Castiel Novak."

"um… Dean Winchester…"

And that was when I met those gorgeous blue eyes… and the little nerd named Castiel Novak.

_(AN - this is my first ever fanfic - please review! I want to learn to write better and your review can help me!)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

-3 years later-

After that first little encounter with the pops, Cas and I became inseparable best friends. We learned everything about each other. I learned that Cas has 4 older brothers, Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, and Balthazar, plus one younger sister, Anna, who happens to be in the same grade as Sammy. Oh boy matchmaking time!

Mike was a senior and Luci was a junior when I met Cas. Both of them are off at college now, doing god knows what, just like before. Gabe and Balthazar are seniors this year. They are pretty awesome. They have plans for college and everything, but sure never miss a party if they can't help it, along with pranking just about everyone in the school. They have a monstrous senior prank planned. Cas and I are juniors. Life has been awesome since Cas showed up. We have carried each other through mountains of homework, exams, breakups, everything. I don't think I could survive without him.

In fact sometimes I wondered just how close Cas and I are. I mean we're best friends and everything, but sometimes I just can't think about anything else but him. We'd be studying in the library and I'd just stare at those cerulean eyes for so long. He smiles at me and I almost start to shiver. We went to get some coffee and he was flirting with the barista, and … did I feel jealous?… no no he's just a friend. My smart, nerdy, rather attractive best friend.

Junior year went by slower than any other year. So many more classes and exams and tests for college… ugh…

We got to Christmas, and I got Cas a giant box full of ready-made mac and cheese, which he gave me a giant hug for. He got me a new non-stick frying pan for making pancakes, a hobby of mine. I could almost kiss him… wait no. Friend.

New Years rolled around and we stayed up all night at one of Gabe's parties drinking stolen champagne. We played Spin the Bottle and I had to kiss Jo, a cute sophomore I went out with for a little while. We were both a little drunk and rather enjoyed the kiss. When I pulled back I grinned at Cas and was rather surprised at the hurt and jealous look he had on his face. He quickly covered it up and we went back to a great evening. I couldn't shake the thought of his face though…

Life and school was hard, yes, but I could deal with it with Cas by my side. We had our fun moments and I was beginning to think that he may feel something towards me too…

And then everything came crashing down around us.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

It happened on a cold March morning. The snows had finally stopped, thank god, but it still was freezing out. Cas and I were in the cafeteria for lunch. Cas's phone buzzed as he was picking up his tray to bring back the dirty dishes. I watched him walk away, checking his phone, as I checked him out a little. Damn he has a fine ass… and then he froze. I immediately knew something was wrong. It was like time stood still. He dropped his tray, spilling uneaten food and broken dishes everywhere, but he kept staring at his phone. I ran over and quickly picked up the mess before looking up at him. His face was ghostly white and I've never seen those eyes so big before. I set the tray back down on an empty table and grabbed his shoulder.

"Cas, what's wrong?"

He just shook his head, breathing rapidly and having tears ready to spill from his eyes.

"I… I need to be alone Dean…" he said as he hurried off. I started to go after him but the school bell rang, indicating an emergency school assembly. I hesitated before going off to the gym, knowing that missing an assembly could cost me a week long suspension from school.

When I got to the gym, I noticed that a couple of the pops were pretty upset too, and I realized that most of their leaders weren't there. Our principal, Mr. Bobby Singer, walked in and motioned for us all to sit down. He cleared his throat and began.

"A couple of you already know what I am about to talk about. _*deep breath*_ For those of you who don't know, there was a senior class party last night. The police found a witness who was able to slur out a description of events that happened there. Apparently two of our more… exuberant… students, Mr. Gabriel Novak and Mr. Fergus Crowley, got into a brawl about whose car could go faster. They and some friends, specifically Balthazar Novak and Ruby Cortese, went up the mountain roads, which I hope you all should know are very dangerous to drive at night, especially at this time of year. _*clearing throat*_ The four students and their cars were found by a trucker at about 7 this morning. It appears that they slid on black ice, and Mr. Novak's car flipped several times. Mr. Crowley and Miss Cortese are in intensive care with some broken ribs and some other broken bones. I'm afraid that the Novak boys have passed on. _*pause*_ Classes for the rest of the day have been cancelled. You may all go home now, and let this be a lesson to all of you not to be idjits while driving."

_(AN - I wrote this chapter as a lesson, as my brother was in a car accident last December with black ice and mountain roads. He wasn't drunk, and he wasn't killed, but I wanted to put this out there for all drivers... )_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

_-Cas's POV-_

I wanted to run. I wanted to run away from my life at that moment. Run away from everything I knew and didn't want to know. When I saw that text from Anna, simply saying "Gabe and Balthazar found on the mountain road this morning. They're gone Cassy, they're gone.", I broke. I heard Dean and felt him grab me, but I was already gone. And so I ran. I didn't stop until I got to my favorite spot, the huge magnolia tree in my backyard. I collapsed at the trunk of the tree and sobbed. My brothers, the only people who truly knew everything. The things Anna didn't know, the things even Dean didn't know, only they knew. And now they were gone.

When I met Dean Winchester, I felt something inside me click. It took me about 2 years to realize what had clicked. Gabe and Balthazar were the only ones who knew. I was in love with Dean Winchester. But he wasn't in love with me… Dean Winchester… the guy who kissed any girl he could… he couldn't be gay like me. Dean was my best friend in the world, and we had carried each other through a lot of shit, but Gabe and Balthazar were the ones I could turn to when I had troubles of my own. They were my lifeline.

And now they were dead.

I couldn't bear to see Dean. When he finally found me, a couple of hours later, he asked me what I needed. I told him to stay away from me. Over the following weeks, I gradually distanced myself from Dean. I knew that it hurt him just as much as it hurt me, but I couldn't face him. Not without Gabe and Balthazar behind me.

A month later, I started cutting myself. Small cuts on my thighs where people couldn't see them in the beginning. When fall came around again, I started to cut my arms too. The pain temporarily helped me, but I began to think that I wanted something more permanent. My life was nothing without Dean, but I couldn't be around him without my brothers.

If my life is nothing, then why have life at all?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

_-Dean's POV-_

After what happened in March, Cas left me. And that hurt more than anything. School was painfully boring without Gabe and Bal pranking everyone, and I missed them like hell, but that's not what caused my grades to drop off a cliff. The teachers were lenient with grades for exams after March, but I still failed all my finals. I needed Cas more than ever. Anna and I grew closer as friends, helping each other, but neither of us could get to him. When he told me to never talk to him again, I thought my heart had shattered.

That summer, I was so desperately lonely that I turned to other things. I had a string of one-night stands, and I snuck alcohol into my room. My parents had died when I was little, and Sam was so obsessed with being smart that it really wasn't too hard.

School year rolled around again and I saw Cas for the first time in 3 months. I had texted with Anna a lot during the summer, checking up on she and Cas, and I realized she wasn't exaggerating how bad off Cas was. He had probably lost about 20 pounds and… was he limping?

I was walking down the hall one day when I saw him duck into an old classroom that wasn't used anymore. I hurried over to the door and entered the room as quietly as I could. He had his back turned to the door and didn't hear me come in. I watched as he rolled up his sleeve and… oh god… his arm was so covered in scars that it looked more scar than skin. He pulled out a pocket knife and slid it across his arm, grimacing in the process. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Cas…."

He whipped around, a panicked look on his face.

"Dean…"

"What are you doing?"

"Please Dean, just please leave me alone."

"Leave you to doing that?! Cas you are going to tell me what is going on with you."

"Dean I can't…"

"Bull shit. I am… or I guess _was_ you're best friend. You know you can tell me anything."

"I can't tell you this. I can never tell you this." By now Cas had tears flowing down his face, his blue eyes huge with fear.

"Cas please I…"

"NO Dean it's the only thing I can ever not tell you. Only Gabe and Bal ever understood and now they're gone. I can't do this anymore. I just can't."

He then punched me in the jaw, knocking me out, and ran.


End file.
